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Tuesday 5 July 2011

sexs over the PHONE

ahaha .. SEKS !
best kan entry kali ni .
kembang kuncup telinga kalau dengar pasal benda2 ni ..
hamboi ketamboi gatal kemain ye .. 
hish ! tau tak phone seks tu adalah salah satu sexual harrasment .

phone seks ini sebenarnya adalah melakukan hubungan seksual tanpa sebarang sentuhan dengan pasangan . hanya telinga sahaja mendengar .
TETAPI !! harus diingat  bahawa perbuatan ini tetap berdosa jika dilakukan .
tak bagus la ....


rata rata sekarang ni dorang seronok melakukan seks bebas melalui talian telefon .
tak dapat buat depan depan , buat kat telinga pon jadilah .
sanggup bergayut , berhabis kredit sebab nak kepuasan yang "MaksimuM" .

Apakah ?? desperate gila ...

mula mula kenal dari internet , FB , Twitter , Tagged , Speech , BOTS , Myspace pastu ask for phone number , pastu talking malking . sembang tu sembang ni .
after a moment , the chit chat is about to change .
change for more daring conversation .
haha ..pastu mula la , making all stupid sounds , then ,, the two human will start shaking all their stuff here and there. 
Ohhh great ! Awesome ! omey angat .. hihi

haiyo .. tak perlulah buat semua tu .
all rubbish !
nak sgt face to face .
no need to waste your money paying the phone bill.
making the Maxis , Celcom , Digi and anything else more richer than ever .

STOP !!
say NO to Phone Sexs !
girls , please . behave your self .
dont let the 'gila seks' person harm your ear and damage your brain too .

* remember , sometimes  she has no heart , but she has a brain .

Sunday 3 July 2011

s e n d a w a


pergh !!! bau teloq  ! hahaha ..
s e n d a w a  . tau sendawa kan .
apa yang aku tau sendawa ni angin dr dalam perut dan dilepaskan melalui mulut .
maka , terbaulah macam macam haruman dari apa yang kita makan .
sendawa ni 'signal' menandakan perut dah kenyang .
lagi satu , sendawa ni disebabkan angin dalam badan , lagi2 kalau kena urut tu , 
kemain berangin lagi ...

yang aku heran  , ada jugak orang yg sendawa mcm naga ..
Masyaallah !! kuat gila  , boleh pecah eardrum .
sendawa or in english we called as 'burp' may cause sound pollution ...
ahahah .



kalau lelaki sendawa kuat aku dah tak ambil kisah la , ni perempuan .
malu kot .. no manners . in public lak uh sendawa .
what people will think about you ?
laugh ? condemn ?
kot banyak angin pon , agak2 la .
pandang kiri kanan dulu ..
haihhh ..
even budak kecik pon sendawa kuat ya amat .

moral of the story , lower your sounds when it comes to burp .. hihi 
omey angat ..

* Burp .... Alhamdullillah .


Saturday 2 July 2011

obsessed

SITUASI 1 :
Nak kurus ! nak kurus ! tak kira nak kurus jugak . tgk ni lemak dah menggelebeh 
(sambil guling-guling)

SITUASI 2 :
dah bergelen makanan aku lahap , tak jugak gemok . nak kene makan gajah kot
(sambil hugging knees)

kurus vs gemuk


tulah dua situasi yg berlaku kat Malaysia sekarang ni .sorang nak kurus , sorang lagi nak gemok .
haihhh.. untunglaaaa . orang lumba lumba nak cari duit , korang perabih dua beli ubat kurus , ubat gemok .
obses !

tak kira la kurus ke gemok ke , masing masing ada keistimewaannya , ada kegunaannya badan korang ni .
macam aku , if i ask someone about my body , people will said "u're not fat , u're fuckable . hish ..lucah la...
some said , 'kau tu bukan gemok , sbb kau tinggi . sedap mata pandang" . 
again ! double meaning there .

orang yg berbadan besar ni sebenarnya beruntung .
sebab bila cuaca sejuk , tak perlu nak cari benda benda tebal .
lemak lemak yang ada kat dalam badan uh , dah boleh menampung kesejukan .
other than that , fat people are "marvellous" to be hug . 
sangat kenyal , lembut banyak isi .
thats why guys nowadays love to find women who had big size than him .
entah la kan .....

orang kurus ni pulak ada jugak untungnya .
satunya , takyah la susah payah nak cari baju , pergi je kedai , gerenti ada size lah .
lagi satu , badan ringan .
memang la cantik dapat badan kurus , tp kalau da macam tiang , pejadahnya .
tak cantik pon , mcm rangka bergerak ade la .

sebenarnya , berat badan kita perlu seiring dengan tahap ketinggian kita .
BMI kenalah normal . at least , 22 .
jangan overweight , jangan obese , jgn underweight .

tak salah kalau korang nak makan ubat ubat tu semua .
sekarang ni pon macam -macam ada . 
duromine , Yusmira , Jus mate 5 , London Weight Management , tapi semuanya perlu disertakan sekali dengan senaman yg secukupnya .
barulah dapat badan yg ideal .
cewahhh . dah macam pakar pengusrusan berat badan pulak aku .. heeeeeee

so , selamat2 la mengurus dan menggemokkan badan .
INGATLAH ! dirimu begitu berharga .

*alamaaakkkkk !!! BMI aku terlebih ..
OMG ! apa pon tak boleh .....

Friday 1 July 2011

Birthday mom !

hey mama ..

today is your birthday .
you was born on 2/7/1960 
now, 
you're already 50 years old women .


wanna present ??
take this !


ala mama .. i dont have enough money .
i dont get my salaries yet .
nevermind , i 'll give you a BIG wish .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU 
MAKAN UBI KAYU
TERSEPAK TUNGGUL BATU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU .
haahah .. nice right 

mama i dont sweettalk like others , i only express my feeling towards you .

anyway , happy birthday to you again , 
hope i can see your smile on your face till the end of your life .

Love you Mama !

* ohh mama , saya mahu kawen .. haha . :p

Thursday 30 June 2011

Pak ada lubang kosong untuk saya ?


korang pernah tak kerja part time ? before aku cite lebih detail , post ni sesuai utk org2 yg menganggur , budak2 tunggu result ataupun sewaktu dengannya . kalau da dapat pegang duit , mmg 'perghhh' la .. 

tp korang pernah tak terfikir untuk bekerja diluar had upaya korang . macam korang betul betul terdesak nak guna duit , so korang keje je apa yg dapat . at the same time , korang tak suitable with you job , so mula la nak ngular sana sini , datang lambat , ambil MC . apa yg aku nak kata , kalau nak buat kerja tu , kena ada minat , bila minat tu ada , buat apa je senang .

aku pernah gak buat kerja part time . macam macam aku kerja buat. kerja kantin , cleaner , salesgirl , tp semua yg keje yg aku buat , tak kene kat aku .sampai la , last day after my SPM examination , i've seeking for a job and i found it . At clinic . Yes ! it's totally suit with my soul . Haha .
it's more than 1 year i've been working there . my job is not only at the registration counter , but also as a nurse . give treatment to patient . i can see all the bleeding body here and there .
last but not least as a pharmacist . i enjoyed working with medicine .eventhough , i have no qualification in medic fields due to my bad results  , but i can still work in that department .
nowadays experince is more important than knowledge . how far is it true ??  huuuuuuu ..

sebab tu aku kata , kalau ada minat , tak kisah la susah mana pon ,  korang sure boleh buat !!
*malaysia boleh !! kan.....
interest leads to be successful in life .
jyeahhhhh ....

* kerah tulang 4 kerat , cari rezeki .

Tuesday 28 June 2011

kelakian seorang LELAKI

okay , ni post kedua aku utk hari ni .
post ni aku nak cerita , pasal LELAKI .
Apa yg kita tau , lelaki seorg yg gagah , penuh sifat kejantanan , dpt membimbing keluarga.
tp mcm mana pulak dgn lelaki lembut a.k.a Pondan ..
haihhh ... payah la .. lantak la mereka uh 

aku nak cerita pasal lelaki yg sejati , yg betul betul keras . Lelaki ni sebenarnya mcm mak nenek gak ..
mcm mcm karenah . kadang kadang tu over lg dr perempuan .
sometimes , annoying la dgn perangai dorang .
ha .. tp bila lelaki ni da tunjukkan kemachoan , kegentleman dorang .. woahhhhh..
cair woooo .. xD

abg bruno ... fewiitttt .. xD


ada macam macam jenis lelaki kat dunia ni sebenarnya m.
Satu , pasal paras rupa .  ada yg handsome , kurang kacak , dan ada yg burok habis . 
tp, kadang kadang lelaki ni muka  tak handsome  mana pon , tp dia cute . senang cite sedap mata nak pandang la .
tanyalah mana mana gadis , mesti dorang akan jawab
" kalau boleh nak tanak yg handsome sgt , payah , nanti kena kebas "
iye ke ?? aku tak percaya lah .. 
same goes to boy also .
nonsense !

Kedua , pasal bentuk badan .
"wey , tgk brader tu , tough giler badan die  6 pack uh "
"tgk badan mamat yg tgh jalan tu , kalau la aku dapat dia , tak tido malam ."
hahah .. macam macam taste org perempuan ni . aku pon kdg kdg minat gak badan badan cm tu , tp kalau da berketol ketol sgt , tak minat lah .. creepy gila ..da mcm robot .
so, guys out there  , wanna attract girl eyes ?
start build your body ..
haha . xD

Ketiga , pasal habitat .ha , habitat tu tempat tinggal la ..
lelaki ni habitat dorang dah lebih kurang sama macam haiwan .. bukan semua , tp SEGELINTIR sahaja .
ambil la contoh abang aku . MasyaAllah !!
bilik dia da macam tempat lembu beranak da .
dengan seleraknya , katil tak kemas , meja bersepah  , kertas terabur sini sana .
harapkan mama jugak kemas .. haihhh
untunglaaaa ....

Keempat , pasal attitude .
lelaki ni kurang ajar la .
oklah guna ayat lembut sikit , 'kurang sopan' .
arghhh .. macam tak pernah diajarlah senang !!
perangai tah pape , nak tu la , nak ni la.
ni tak kena , tu tak kena .
pastu nak marah marah nak protes macam org kena rasuk Syaitonnn ..
keep on saying harsh word and what so ever la .
bila dah ada gf , nak yg perfect selalu je ..girls cant be perfect 24/7 okay . take note !
namun .. ada jugak lelaki yg mampu menaikkan nafsu perempuan untung disunting bahkan dinikahi lagi ..
hamboiii .. aww , aww ..

Kelima .. err .. apa ea ??
no more idea to type .
actually , theres a ot of secret behind a guy .
i think thats enough .#itsover
kalau nak tau lg pasal leaki , google la sendiri okay .
wa , chaw lu .

* make you life good dear .. xD




ear holes

i do have a cat
actually , it was my neighbour cat . But he always come over to get some food in my house .
so , now he is belong to me .. haha
already mine !

i called him as Merah  .everyone wondered why i put that name .
Because he had orange fur . his name should be orange right .
but , theres a lot cat use that name .
so , i changed it to Merah ..


He was a tough cat i ever had .
Lately , he always fighting with his enemies .
fighting for what , i got no reason .
Gaduh .. Gaduh ..Gaduh
at last, he was bitten near his ear .
Big holes ..euwww .. geli ...


haihh .. kalau aku tau kucing mana yg gigit dia  , siap kau !!

oh my lalink Merah , dont worry . i always beside you .
i will look after you .
eventhough my dad keep on saying 
"ira kucing tu kotor , throw it away ! "
huhhhhhh ... sad .. :((
cepatlah elok ha ..

*haiya , merah sudah luka pon aduiii ~ ~ ~ ...

Monday 27 June 2011

oh Result !

huhay !!

finally , my result has been announced .
Eventhough i cant reached my target to 3 pointer and above , at least , im not below than 2.5.
*nak markah tinggi jugak !!!

anyway , i would like to thanked all my lectures , my colleges friends , and also to my beloved parents , who had always teach and help me.
What ever it is , thank GOD . i've tried my best ,and thats my result .
Alhamdullillah . syukur ....

Im constantly afraid about my result since the last day of my examination .
Dup dap .. dup dap .. dup dap ....
huhh..
i cant handle it without Istighfar .
when the heart beating comes to end , i fully relieved and all my nervous feeling gone .
hahah ..

and now , im waiting for next semester . it is around the corner.
not more than two weeks .
i will heading back to KPMIM , Kuantan .

for next semester , i need to work more harder .
no more playing games , chatting , webcam and so on .
study means study !
i hope my result will be much better than this .
INSYAALLAH .

*jangan tanya result aku , tumbuk karang .

Sunday 26 June 2011

perigi cari apa

dalam perigi ada apa kawan kawan ?
ada air ..ada apa ? ada air ....
nak ambil air guna apa kawan kawan ?
guna timba .. guna apa ? guna timba ..


#konklusi : 
perempuan kejar lelaki takpon lelaki kejar perempuan .
anything lah yg related to it.

dulu dulu bila aku cakap pasal perigi cari timba , mesti orang akan cakap
"sekarang orang mandi guna shower , no need to use well anymore ".
masih keliru .. haihhhh ..

lantak lah , aku bukan nak cerita banyak pasal perigi ni .
lets straight to the point .

kadang kadang kalau P tu suka kat L , dan L tu pun suka kat P , tapi sebagai perempuan , P kena tunggu first step dari L .
last2 , L back out sebab dia fikir P jual mahal sangat ..
 p/s : P : Perempuan
        L : Lelaki

aku rasa perempuan kena jual mahal jugak . tapi taklah terlalu mahal sampai rasa nak bakor je perempuan tu.
Tapi tak bermakna perempuan boleh jual murah dgn sesuka hati dia je, smpai si lelaki boleh dapat tanpa usaha keras.
kalau nak jual murah sgt, tunggu MegaSale takpon YES > Year End Sale .Haha

I think is okay for a women to make the first step 
for example  : eh awak , jom couple
                   :  eh abang , jom couple
                   :  eh you ,  lets couple
                   :  eh anda ,  jom couple 
okay , enough YANA ! haha

so , jangan la terkejar-kejar sgt .. make your life simple .. 
as well as you can  . okay dear ?

*datang dan pergi seperti ambil air di perigi .


Saturday 25 June 2011

my Beloved . Who ?

jheahhh .. im 19 years old already . over the years, i grew up to be a perfect girl .
i know , im not so perfect among people out there . 
I make mistake , i make people hurt.
It is because im a human . and its normal , okay 

Anyway , this time i want to share about L.O.V.E.
Nowadays , 11 years old girl already had a boyfriend and there are few who have been sleep together .
woahhh .. *Nice !

But , when  speaking on someone special in life , I always fancied about who wants to be my boyfriend ?
??????
ha , people who knew me , they know how i really am . 
a person who was aggresive and cheerful  among friends , and family .. *woahh .. (banggalah ) haha .



I admit that i am fussy sometimes . 
but when theres someone who can attract my feeling, i will take care of him . 
I'll show my love .. Ha .. siap kau boyfie !!

until now , no one are able to get into my heart .
Im not a selective person . 
Tapi kalau boleh nak gak yg satu palotak .
Im not 'minah jiwang' , 'minah bunga' , 'minah tangkap leleh'
I am brutal .. RAWR !!

biasalah budak muda .. baru nak naik .. gatal nak ada pakwe2 .. haha
*hamboi ketamboi kemain gatal lg ye ,.


WANNA BE MY BOYFRIEND ??

*send your resume to 38329 
ur request will be process as soon as possible .

Thursday 23 June 2011

Kau Pergi Jua

On 23rd of June 2011 , Mr. Abu Bakar or known as Pak Ngah has passed away peacefully .

he left a widow with one son and daughter in law. 
Anyway , he is my neighbor .

i don't believe it .  A person who has very cheerful and active personality was dead . 
*woahhh . T_T
Thats what people always said , "ajal maut di tangan Tuhan" .

based on my observation .. *observer ?? haha 
he loved kids , and so do kids .
feeling between two soul and body .
just like son/daughter and dad

He's almost 65 years old man .
the cause of the death due to cancer problem .
He suffered about 6 months and now he's already gone .
I think today is the right time for him to go .

yang mati tetap kekal mati , yang hidup teruskan segala usaha anda untuk menempah tempat di kalangan orang-orang yang mulia disisi Allah S.W.T .

*semoga roh Pak Ngah dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan di kalangan orang orang yang beriman .
amin ........


Al - Fatihah .




Wednesday 22 June 2011

Boiling blood . Grrr !

manusia ni kalau tak cari masalah dengan aku takleh nak hidop kot .
aku jugak kau nak ganggu . Nyah la kau !

ku sangkakan gurauan , rupanya gangguan tahap hardcore dah .
this is what i called Hardcore .
RAWR ! RAWR ! RAWR ! RAWR ! RAWR ! RAWR !


apa kau ada bela 'jeans' ke ?
ohh God , please change this person behavior into genie .
he need it , badly .
hamekk kau !!

aku dah cakap aku tak suka berfikir bila marah .
lagi aku marah , lagi banyak syaitoniRojimm tu datang mencucuk aku ..
nasib kau lah .

* suhu 89 degree celcius ,

Sunday 19 June 2011

manusia berkepala satu

aku heran knp manusia ni suke sgt berubah . kot berubah baik takpe , tp benda yang tak elok dibuatnya .
bila da up sikit, mulalah nak hidung tinggi .hidung tersorong sorong  nak berlagak .
Cemuihhh !!

kalau jumpa kat luar , dok gesel2 bahu , uihhhhh ,, jenuh nak senyum .. pe lg nak tegur kan .. 
haprak sungguh hang ni ! 
these kind of problem officially happened on me and a few of my friends .


tau la kau HOT , but you make me more HOTTT than you . Just be yourself . Dont follow others who had bad attitude .

even kawan baik pon dah sombong .. tau2 da jadi perempuan yg sgt ....... 
better dont mention it .. haha ..
What the hell are you doing friends ?? 
seriously , i really regret to have friends like you .

wondering if i have three heads  .. Haha 
too many things to think  .. Pecah palotak .

* kepala aku satu , tp toncet dua .. 
opps !!

Happy Fathers Day to You !

this entry special for my beloved dad who was able to grew me up being like a human , because im a 'sewel' enough in the family . Haha .

okay , lets introduce  .. this is Mr Yusoff b. Ismail .



i use to call him as Papa . I think he is toughable man . Sometimes, he make my whole family deeply affected by what he had done . Caring ?? Ofcoz , he is a caring dad  . and im pretty sure that, all dad in the world had a feeling of care towards their children .

somehow , this guy make me feel annoying and irritating . Yes , i admit it ! . But i've a brain, a brain that can think how to respect and talk nicer towards old people . As a youngest and also the only daughter he had , someday i will make him proud .

for me , everyday is fathers day . I LOVE YOU PAPA ! :) ))

for those who had read , 
*Happy Fathers Day to BAPAK KAU !! 

Wednesday 15 June 2011

panas lg terik !!

haihh .. apasal panas sangat sekarang ni ?
ni bukan lagi panas , terbakar da ..

dear God , please .. lower the temperature .
tak dayo da ..

ini semua sebab manusia .. manusia yg takde sifat bertanggungjawab dan sayang kat bumi .
lapisan ozon dah nipis .. dah betol2 nipis nanti nak tampal pakai apa ??
kain sarung ??

haiyo ..
people , im begging you . do save the earth .
bumi semakin tua .. sudah setngah abad ..
kot nak merasa  tinggal lebih lama , pandai2 la jaga bumi ..

i wish i could have wing , so , i can fly away to Switzerland . so cold there .. haha

lg satu aku rasa macam nak curik kipas helicopter tu .. confirm sejuk satu rumah  :P 
im getting melt ..

* its thirsty day . need some milkshake .


Saturday 11 June 2011

Tukar rambut ! Tukar rambut !

rimas .. rimas .. rimas .. aku rimas .. aku lemas .. : P )))

i need new hair style .. 
tp xnak potong .. bertahun tunggu panjang .. 
sia2 je potong pendek nanti ..

kadang2 da macam singa da rambut aku ..semak sgt la ..
my mom suruh layer .. uihh .. tanak la .. ish2 ..
my dad suruh cut it short .. uihh .. lg tanak ..

rambut aku sekarang cenggini la

nampak berkerut muka uh .. haha .. sume sbb rambut la ni ..
so , kene tukar jugak .. nak jugak ! nak jugak ! (sambil guling guling)

i think this style is quite ok to me
 .
nampak mcm serabai .. tp cantik ..
atas straight , bwh curl ..
*woahh .. i got you !

haha .. need to change it before go back to kuantan ..

*mama , papa i need money .. 
boleh kan .. :P .hehekk

Thursday 9 June 2011

zombie eyes o_O


huarghh .. what happened to me ?? 
since i woke up this morning, i still sleepy .

not enough sleep ?? i dont think so ..
my body was so weak today .. no energy to do my work . 

luckily , there's no many patient today at clinic .
i can easily bergoyang kaki .. :P ))

my eyes .. almost like zombie . 
lebam .. 

i need a pretty rest for a week ,  i guess .. haha 
need to go picnic .. woahhh  . but where???

* air liur meleleh .. :P )))


Monday 6 June 2011

Memori Tercipta tanpa Had

amboi kemain ramai lg yg kawen , bertunang , yg dah kawen , kawen lagi , tak lupa jgk kpd yg bercerai time2 school break ni .. -,- .. 
byk sgt invitation aku dapat .. perot da tegang , dada da kedepan . mcm mana nak masuk makanan lg ??
*rosak program diet .. haihh!

tp dlm byk2 wedding aku dah pegi , wedding jiran aku ni yg sgt menikam kalbuku .. *woahhh ..

sebelum couple ni kawen , parents dia dapat penyakit yg sgt sakit .. mula2 mak dia dapat cancer mulut ..
pastu ayah dia pulak dapat kanser usus . both of them got cancer .. =.=
mgkin ni sume ujian utk anak dia . btw , anak dia lelaki .. . i called him as abg emi .

smpai la hari nak nikah , anak dia tetap dgn parents dia .. bg makan , ubat sume .. ..
a day before his wedding , his father fainted and was taken to hospital ..
hadoii ..... luluh hati masa tu .. tak dapat bayang cm mana dia tempuh .

pape pon , sume yg dirancang , tetap berjalan dgn elok . dgn bantuan saudara mara , dan jiran .
maka terijab kabullah mereka  pada 3/6/2011 ..

ha  , ni la dorang tu ..


emi & ila


ni pulak parents aku tgh melantak nasi berminyak .. *huhh tak kuasa nak makan .. :)


 budak ni pon nak posing .. haha .. Rayyan Ameenulluqman .. my nephew .

finally .. its me .. wajah boring , panas , mengantok combine all together .

however ,  i would like to say  ,  SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU !! yehaaa  ..kawen gak korang ..

this song special for both of  you ..
*nyanyi sendiri .

Selamat pengantin baru
selamat berbahagia
selamat ke anak cucu
selamat sejahtera


Semoga berkekalan
semoga berpanjangan
semoga satu tujuan
semoga aman



Hidup mestilah rukun
sabar paling perlu
cinta setiap hari
senyum mesti selalu..
oh..oh..oh..



Selamat pengantin baru
selamat berbahagia
selamat ke anak cucu
selamat sejahtera



Hidup mestilah rukun
sabar paling perlu
cinta setiap hari
senyum mesti selalu..
oh..oh..oh..



Selamat pengantin baru
selamat berbahagia
selamat ke anak cucu
selamat sejahtera



*akhirnya , tercipta sebuah lagi memori yang tidak pernah ada had .
o_O

 
Yana Shengalicous Blog!